I’m a Walking Contradiction!

I am a walking contradiction!

Honestly my name should have been Barbara Paradox. Now I know what those who love me are thinking- Stop thinking so negative about yourself Bee. You downplay yourself way too much. I can hear you guys in my ear now. But it’s the truth! When it comes to love and relationships, I don’t know if I am coming or going! Hell, sometimes I cum just so one of us can go!

Too much? This is my personal blog…and well…. ITS PERSONAL!

So why the contradictions and paradoxes? Well I am always confessing that I am afraid to end up alone like my mother. There is nothing I want more than to have a partner who I can share my successes with, who I can count on when I feel like the rug is being pulled out from underneath me, who I can cater to and inspire and in a sense make better. I mean a partner should add and not take away from your life, right? Right. Continue reading “I’m a Walking Contradiction!”

The Truth about Procrastination

So here is the thing about procrastination: I always find that I feel so much better when I finally conquer whatever task I’ve been putting off! If this is the case, why do I keep avoiding it? Why do I insist on keeping busy doing other meaningless or unproductive things like scrolling through Instagram or refreshing Snapchat a gazillion times or having another snack because I’m-bored-not-hungry? Well simply put, I’m blocking my own blessings. It’s true. Ps I love you Instagram and Snapchat, it’s not you, it’s me. But seriously… Continue reading “The Truth about Procrastination”

5 places I’d love to visit:

1.       Italy– Sicily particularly. I once heard my uncle say that this is where my great grandfather Carlo Gaetano was from. I remember visiting Cuba for the first time and feeling a sort of nostalgia. Like not only was this place a part of my past but it was a part of me. I long for that feeling. Something tells me Italy will deliver. Now I just need my pockets to get on the same page. Continue reading “5 places I’d love to visit:”

Shitty Ginny vs. Kindness

Accepting that sometimes people are just plain shitty is hard for me. You see I like to see the good in people. I like to think that there’s always a way to finesse an amicable relationship with even the most brute of humans. No matter how small the interaction, kindness is always my go to weapon of choice. “Búscale la vuelta” or in English, “find their soft spot” my brain tells me. Usually I have favorable results. But sometimes…like the time in this story…not so much…

We’ll call her Ginny. Tall, blonde, married, with no children, a stable career, house on at least 3 acres, the American dream and the beautiful dog to match. Ginny has got it all.

In fact, even though I’d be doing things a little backwards, I kinda want to be like Ginny when I grow up.

Its 2011, I’ve got two young children, I’m single, living in an overpriced rental apartment with my mom as my live-in nanny- because daycares are blood sucking leeches, and I’m commuting to work on bus or using my mom’s car on the days I feel she can do without it. This bad mama jama got herself a job working as an Administrative Assistant at the same company Ginny works at.

I’m stoked! Things are looking up for me. The degree I worked so hard for is opening doors for me.

Thank you baby Jesus! Continue reading “Shitty Ginny vs. Kindness”

And So It Begins

In 1980 my mother came to the US via the Mariel boatlift, where boats carrying thousands of Cubans fleeing the grips of Castro made their way to the US from the Mariel harbor. Her successful arrival in Florida officially made her a “marielita” refugee.  She was twenty-five years old and unfamiliar with the language and eventually processed by the US government as Lucia Rosas. Too afraid to speak up for herself and the error made in her name, Rosas became her official surname. The addition of the “s” to the end of her last name literally transformed her identity. She was in a new place and now with a new name. Life as she knew it had forever changed. Continue reading “And So It Begins”

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