Since you’ve been gone I have no one to empty my brain with. You know how put together I could look on the outside and on the inside be so hectic.
Is it because I feel that no one else genuinely cares? Or is it because I am afraid to genuinely care for anyone else? I don’t know.
These are the type of questions I’d ask you.
So instead here I am, pretending to be some kind of wordsmith.
Ps. You better be reading my blog in heaven! [punch emoji, punch emoji, winky face, kissy face, I’m so serious face here].
Everyone just assumes all is well. No more random texts. No more “Hey BM [insert cheery, or uplifting, or check yourself, or Phexy dog, or I love you just because note here]”.
No more random visits.
There’s no more of a lot of things. In fact, I haven’t hosted a single get together at my house. Why? Truth is, without you certain happy things sting.
You’d celebrate my every success, no matter how small. Console my every heartbreak. Cushion every downfall.
You’d listen to me swear I wouldn’t do something we both knew I was going to do at least 3 thousand times more. And on the three thousandth time you’d listen like I’d never told you the story before.
You’d give me sound advice when it came to matters of the heart. Force me to go out dancing when I felt like I was falling apart.
Oh how I need you right now poots.
I don’t want to sound selfish or ungrateful. I know that everything happens as it should. I knew how lucky I was to have a best friend like you. I’d just bring you back if I could.
TQM mi negrita. Keep watching over Brielle for me.
Well here I am at work, and you cross my mind. “What’s Barb thinking today? Let me see if she has graced me with summa her.” Now here I am trying not to cry.. lol
Anywhooo, tunsabes que the quiero de gratis, pero tienes que dejar que the quieran tambien.
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P.s. I miss her greatly as well.
Also, I didn’t spell check..
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I found this abundantly relatable. My friendship with her was shorter and I’m sure not as deep as yours but I can promise it was just as meaningful. In the years we had as friends, they were blessed. And I’m forever thankful for small victories and successes that she was wholeheartedly behind such as my clothing line. Experiencing the loss of Rozey was one of the hardest losses I’ve experienced, I felt like I’ve lost so much and for a while even the desire to create. This read was everything.
Thank you for reading it! I shared it because I knew you’d understand ❤ #cutystrong