The last couple of months have been such a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I have spent a lot of time on introspection. I’ve asked myself WHY a lot. The more I asked, the more I tried to dig deep, the worse I felt. Turns out I’d been doing it wrong. Asking myself Why wasn’t going to make me more aware of myself and it wasn’t going to give me the answers on someone else’s behavior. In fact, it negatively affected my relationship with people I care for and made me a less effective employee. What I should have been doing is treating myself like a business, I should have been asking WHAT and not WHY. Continue reading “Switching Gears”
My milkshake keeps bringing all the boys to the yard…
…what do men drink?
I was sitting at the bar having dinner and drinks with a friend when Vinny and his buddy came in. There was no room available so in true Bee form, I scooted over and signaled them to take a seat next to me. They were grateful, shot me a smile and took a seat. I was immediately intrigued by the two. Continue reading “We’re all right, there’s nobody wrong- Vinny”
There I was rubbing and pushing up on you when all along the power to make my wishes come true was inside of ME. Continue reading “The Faux Genie”
There is nothing wrong with feeling deeply, but as we navigate through adulthood we have to learn that not everything deserves intense reactions.
For those of us that wear our hearts on our sleeves, its almost like teaching yourself not to care. Not because you are heartless but as a form of guarding your heart. Your sanity. Continue reading “Talking Yourself Off the Ledge”
Q: Why is she sharing such personal issues? Why are her posts all about her and her pain?
A: I write for self-reflection, I write for self- healing. I write as a way of acknowledging certain situations and thus making it easier to confront them and let them go. I write because I want to help others; and how can you help heal something you, yourself have never experienced? I am not a martyr. I am not a victim. I no longer live in my past. I am a woman of strength who wants to help others create their own flame when they cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Feeling is stronger than knowing.
Think about it.
Now for those that’d like to argue with me:
I know this burger is no good for me but I’ve been craving it all day. Eats burger, fries, the extra-large coke and the apple pie, self-induces lethargic food coma.
I know this guy is no good for me but I love him. Stays with guy, justifies all hurt.
I know I should be going to bed early but this sitcom gives me the feels. Binge watches show, hates the world in the morning.
Exactly. Continue reading “DADDY ISSUES”
I am a walking contradiction!
Honestly my name should have been Barbara Paradox. Now I know what those who love me are thinking- Stop thinking so negative about yourself Bee. You downplay yourself way too much. I can hear you guys in my ear now. But it’s the truth! When it comes to love and relationships, I don’t know if I am coming or going! Hell, sometimes I cum just so one of us can go!
Too much? This is my personal blog…and well…. ITS PERSONAL!
So why the contradictions and paradoxes? Well I am always confessing that I am afraid to end up alone like my mother. There is nothing I want more than to have a partner who I can share my successes with, who I can count on when I feel like the rug is being pulled out from underneath me, who I can cater to and inspire and in a sense make better. I mean a partner should add and not take away from your life, right? Right. Continue reading “I’m a Walking Contradiction!”